What's the Matter with Kansas? Chili and Rolls Edition
Introduction
I wanted to write this post to bring up a very serious issue facing our nation. There is no doubt that the nation is a more tenuous position than it has been in years. The fabric of our great nation is coming apart at the seams. As a public policy scholar, I have heard many explanations as to its cause. I have grown tired of listening to problems. The time for action and solutions is now.
As many readers are aware, the state of Kansas holds a unique place in the United States and western civilization writ large. Not only is Kansas the center of the United States, it is also the center of the solution to the nation’s ills. The great people of Kansas have many secrets to success, including a strong work ethic, a humble outlook on life, and just being friendly to their neighbors. These are all great things to be in life, and characteristics that will improve any people’s chance of prosperity. But what else is there? There has to be some other variable causing Kansas’s great success. This post will reveal that secret to the world.
The organization is as follows: first, I will introduce the Kansas-unique factor. Then, I will summarize the previous evidence of its effectiveness. The next section describes an original empirical work describing the Kansas treatment’s effect on Kansans’ success. The final section concludes.
What is Unique to Kansans?
Without further adieu, I present to you the secret sauce (stew?) that makes Kansans special. Chili and cinnamon rolls.
Readers are certainly asking at this point, “Why this combination of opposites? Why don’t Kansans behave like the rest of the world and have corn bread or other sensible side with chili?” Several reasons. First, it takes two delicious foods and makes them complements. In the mood for something spicy? Eat some chili. What about something sweet to cool your mouth? Oh, we have fresh cinnamon rolls fresh out of Grandma’s oven. There is literally no downside to this combination. It does lack an intuitive explanation, other than it is just extremely tasty. A full discussion of just how tasty is beyond the scope of this post. Why did Kansans and only Kansans devise this seemingly flawless meal? Well, this ingenuity when paired with the famous Kansas work ethic has results that speak for themselves.
Previous Evidence
Kansas has a rich history of success. I will discuss each chronologically. Kansas has always been a refuge for the least among us (remember all that hospitality?). Kansas was started as a free territory that allowed sodbusters, regardless of religion, race, or nationality to begin a new life and prosper from their own efforts. In stark contrast, just to the east, the slave colony of Missouri was founded to exploit and subjugate an entire race of people for, like, no reason.
Starting in 1854, Missouri “border ruffians” sought to impose their self-evidently inferior way of life on the Free People of Kansas. The Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 called for “Popular Sovereignty” which the fine people of Kansas were all in favor of. Free Soilers were notoriously hostile to slavery, so bringing the Kansas Territory into the United States as a free state was guaranteed. That is, until the Missourians heard (they obviously could not read the newspaper) that Kansas was settled and about to vote to be free. The pro-slavery Missourians (apologies for the redundancy) invaded the Free State of Kansas, committing all sorts of crimes and murders in the name of slavery. They even burned one of the great treasures of Kansas, the City of Lawrence, to the ground.
In 1855, a striking freedom fighter named John Brown (photographed below) arrived in Kansas to aid the state in its quest for freedom. Brown and his followers (like the entire Kansas Territory) raided pro-slavery installations in Eastern Kansas and avenged his compatriots’ deaths, hacking the slavers to death with swords. Eventually, Brown attempted to seize the entirety of the pro-slavery government at Harper’s Ferry, Virginia. Even though he was unsuccessful and hanged by the pro-slavery government, John Brown’s efforts set the stage for the glorious victory of Free Staters in 1865. He is memorialized with a mural in the Kansas Capitol building in Topeka, Kansas. There is credible evidence suggesting Brown’s last meal was a bowl of beef chili and a hot cinnamon roll.
Kansas also has more modern examples of great success. The University of Kansas has always been a great incubator for innovation. Sport is not an exception. In 1898, Canadian immigrant Dr. James Naismith (pictured below with a basketball) brought a fledgling invention, the game of “Basket Ball” to the University of Kansas, where he and his game were welcomed with open arms. KU began playing and advancing the sport in 1898, and has played the game ever since with great success. Not only has Dr. Naismith’s game taken the nation and the world by storm, his original rules are housed in Lawrence, Kansas.
Dr. Naismith’s influence as an adopted Kansan spread far and wide. Forrest “Phog” Allen, a disciple of Naismith’s and defector from Missouri, is widely viewed as the Father of Basketball Coaching and credited with advancing the sport to the Olympics, where it is still played today. It is widely accepted that Coach Allen served his team chili and cinnamon rolls prior to the 1952 NCAA Tournament, where KU won its third national championship. Kansan Dean Smith, a player under Allen on the 1952 team, took his Kansas values (including the now-famous culinary combo) south and east to North Carolina, where he recruited the University of North Carolina’s first black student-athletes. One of the most famous basketball arenas in the world, the Dean Smith Center, is named for this famous Kansan.
Kansas also has a rich history of heroism. One of its most famous heroes is Clark Kent, popularly known as Superman, was born on Krypton but immigrated to Kansas after his wise parents decided a Kansas farm was the best place to raise a boy with superhuman abilities. Superman (pictured below in his signature Kansas apparel) went on to graduate from a Kansas high school and defeat intergalactic supervillains such as Darkseid, Brainiac, and General Zod, each seeking to subjugate the human race, not unlike Missouri. Kent’s best known adversary, Lex Luthor, was an early supporter of George Wallace’s Presidential campaign in 1968. Kent widely credited Martha Kent’s signature chunky chili and butter cream frosted cinnamon rolls with counteracting the effects of Kryptonite, allowing him to foil Luthor’s master plan.
Kansans also rise to the occasion against Earthly, and just as evil, foes. Kansan Dwight David Eisenhower was raised in Abilene, Kansas. Eisenhower graduated from the country’s best college outside Kansas, the West Point Academy, in 1915. His influence is widely credited with allowing 59 of his classmates to become general officers in the Army.
Later on, Adolph Hitler took power in Germany and started World War II. The United States called upon its best to fight the two-front war. The Nazis, being the greater evil, needed Eisenhower’s best efforts. Eisenhower was appointed Supreme Allied commander in the European front, marking the second time in as many decades a Kansan was called upon to protect the world from a great evil. Eisenhower devised the D-Day liberation of France against the Nazi occupiers, likely over a bowl of chili, a fresh cinnamon roll, and a cigarette. The operation was an immense success and the Nazis never again would threaten the world. Eisenhower eventually became President of the United States.
In summary, the combination of chili and cinnamon rolls has aided Kansans in defeating Missourians, the South, intergalactic supervillains, and Nazis.
Empirical Examination
Kansans are notoriously willing to help out a neighbor, so when I wanted to estimate the effect of our proud invention on our state’s success, Kansans were more than willing to help out. I asked 100,000 of them a detailed set of questions regarding their life outcomes, how much chili and cinnamon rolls they consume, as well as how often they are consumed together. I used ordinary least squares (OLS) regression to estimate the relationship. The full results are below.
Even I, a serious social scientist was shocked by the results. Chili and cinnamon rolls by themselves have no significant effect. However, when interacted in the model (i.e. jointly consumed) the effect size doubles and becomes an incredible predictor of success. For those not statistically inclined, the coefficient on “combo” means that a unit increase in chili and cinnamon roll consumption results in a .8 unit increase in success. I am absolutely amazed.
Conclusion
As I have demonstrated, Kansans and chili and cinnamon rolls are a formidable combination. Not only can chili and cinnamon rolls impact the greatest Kansans, it also has a strong effect on the everyday Kansans you find at sporting events, in the field, and wherever you see a friendly face and strong handshake. Next time you see one, ask them what their favorite side for a hot bowl of chili soup during a trademark Kansas blizzard is. They will say, “Ope, sorry about that. But if I had the ingredients on hand, I would make a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls. They keep really good too for breakfast!”